Today I was driving Alana to school and I was taking two kids' of a friend of ours to school as well. Alana and Nevaeh were in the backseat with their 6 year old guy pal sitting between them. I'm not sure how their conversation got there, but I heard Nevaeh forcefully point out that God is invisible. They fully accepted this fact and that God is everywhere. This led to the three of them pointing out all the places that God is. "In front of us", for instance. This was contributed by Alana. They went on to mention "on my head", "on top of the car", and then-all of the sudden- I hear blurted out: "He's even in my hiney!" Now, I know that I don't even have to tell you which child made such an insightful comment, but Vaeh was quite proud of her observation. So here I will give her credit. I did the obligatory "Nevaeh!" and quickly wondered how much my 4 year old was corrupting our company. But, true to form, she wasn't gonna let it go. "Mommy, God IS everywhere, right? That's what you said!" Well, I couldn't think of a verse that excluded certain body parts from God's omnipresence, soooo. I mean, am I the only one who has had the "God-is-everywhere" moment while I'm using the bathroom and thought: "Really?".
Well, all that got me thinking about how, while my children are amazed at the fact that God can be everywhere at once, I often struggle with the "hiddenness" of God. How can He literally be everywhere and yet sometimes I feel like "Where are You?!" For instance, with the whole adoption thing I find myself trusting, trusting, trusting...Ok, please gimme something God! One little shred of direction, guidance, anything. Now, I know that people have had much darker "nights of the soul" than this situation that I'm in. I'm not enduring terrible trials that others may be. But, you know what? Regardless, we are not the first to feel this way. And feeling that way doesn't always mean that we have wandered off from God. Job was considered righteous by God, but when he begged God to help him...nothing. All through the Psalms the "man after God's own heart" voiced his doubts and complaints. So maybe instead of being a sign of weak faith, our wonderings are expected by God. And maybe, in a weird way, God understands. Maybe He went out of His way to understand. After all, God the Son felt God-forsaken on the cross. And if Jesus Christ can scream out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!", then I guess it's ok for me to whisper a little, "Hellooo? God? This is kinda a big deal. Could you appear?" every now and then.
And I'm very sorry if this post makes your next trip to the restroom...awkward:).
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