The Hiney-I mean Hidden-God

Today I was driving Alana to school and I was taking two kids' of a friend of ours to school as well. Alana and Nevaeh were in the backseat with their 6 year old guy pal sitting between them. I'm not sure how their conversation got there, but I heard Nevaeh forcefully point out that God is invisible. They fully accepted this fact and that God is everywhere. This led to the three of them pointing out all the places that God is. "In front of us", for instance. This was contributed by Alana. They went on to mention "on my head", "on top of the car", and then-all of the sudden- I hear blurted out: "He's even in my hiney!" Now, I know that I don't even have to tell you which child made such an insightful comment, but Vaeh was quite proud of her observation. So here I will give her credit. I did the obligatory "Nevaeh!" and quickly wondered how much my 4 year old was corrupting our company. But, true to form, she wasn't gonna let it go. "Mommy, God IS everywhere, right? That's what you said!" Well, I couldn't think of a verse that excluded certain body parts from God's omnipresence, soooo. I mean, am I the only one who has had the "God-is-everywhere" moment while I'm using the bathroom and thought: "Really?".
Well, all that got me thinking about how, while my children are amazed at the fact that God can be everywhere at once, I often struggle with the "hiddenness" of God. How can He literally be everywhere and yet sometimes I feel like "Where are You?!" For instance, with the whole adoption thing I find myself trusting, trusting, trusting...Ok, please gimme something God! One little shred of direction, guidance, anything. Now, I know that people have had much darker "nights of the soul" than this situation that I'm in. I'm not enduring terrible trials that others may be. But, you know what? Regardless, we are not the first to feel this way. And feeling that way doesn't always mean that we have wandered off from God. Job was considered righteous by God, but when he begged God to help him...nothing. All through the Psalms the "man after God's own heart" voiced his doubts and complaints. So maybe instead of being a sign of weak faith, our wonderings are expected by God. And maybe, in a weird way, God understands. Maybe He went out of His way to understand. After all, God the Son felt God-forsaken on the cross. And if Jesus Christ can scream out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!", then I guess it's ok for me to whisper a little, "Hellooo? God? This is kinda a big deal. Could you appear?" every now and then.
And I'm very sorry if this post makes your next trip to the restroom...awkward:).

Bothering God...

Jonathan and I received a call from our home study agent a few weeks ago and she had some bad news. The lady who has been trying to make our adoption possible on the Ukraine end went before the SDA with a letter from a judge recommending us as adoptive parents for Oksana and Vitya. She says she was 80% sure that she was leaving with an "okay", but instead she was told that "the law is the law" and that Jono and I will under no circumstances receive a referral to adopt our sweet kids. It's taken a while to process because this unfortunate news came right on the heels of Memaw's death...which officially made the month of February the absolute WORST in both of our lives. We have really felt all along that this was something that God was leading us to do and that the obstacles were just there to bring more glory to Him in the end. And that is definitely still possible. However we are being told by all involved that this is a brick wall. There are no more options.

Every day at noon I, along with my 2 girls, pray for Oksana and Vitya. Daily, God hears: "God, please let Oksana and Vitya come be a part of our family." I am so ok with being like the persistent widow that Luke talks about in chapter 18 who wore the judge out by asking for justice over and over again. Eventually even that unjust judge gave in. Jesus said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?"
I want to have faith in a known, seen outcome. But I know that that is not faith at all. So, in the words of Mother Theresa "I'll pray for trust...not clarity." There has never been a time in my life that has felt so "hands off" to me. Everything has always been fixable. There's always been someone I could call or something I could do...and now there's not. I have to find peace in knowing that God has the power to do what He wants and that He ultimately wants what will most glorify Him. I definitely don't doubt that. I just wonder, as C.S. Lewis did when his wife had cancer, how painful Him glorifying Himself will be to us.
And in the meantime, I'm gonna bother God like crazy.