Last Friday night we took a group of students to The Garden. It is a homeless shelter in Smyrna that houses about 50 women and children. We went to throw a birthday party for all of the children there, which I thought sounded super exciting. Balloons, cupcakes, a pinata, and lots of games and singing with some kiddos. That's right up my alley. I love throwing birthday parties. But we started the evening off by making sack lunches for the ministry there to pass out to homeless people today. So I volunteered for bologna sandwich making. It was just 150 sandwiches and there was about 5 of us working on it, so it wasn't that bad. Then a lady came in and asked us sandwich makers if we could help out and make a "few more" sandwiches. She said around 250, but I swear we must have made a couple thousand mechanically separated meat sandwiches. I would spread a loaf of bread out over the counter. Kevin O. would apply mustard (then "mustard sauce" after we ran out of regular mustard...ugh). I would oh-so-carefully place the bologna on, then both of us would put them together and pass them down to the bagging team. I'm gonna be straight with you and say...it was terrible. I hate monotonous work. Doing the same thing over and over for 3 hours is torture for me. I hate it. And what's worse, I didn't realize I was missing the birthday party until Jono came in the kitchen and said, "Alright. The party's over. Ya'll ready to go?" I was super bummed. Everyone else had bonded with a kid and ministered to them and taken lots of pictures. I had made bologna sandwiches. It was not my idea of a glorious night of ministry. (I must say here that Kevin O'Shields seemed to quite enjoy himself being "mustard man" which I couldn't quite understand except that he attributed it to having a Type A personality.)
Anyway, I say all that to say that sometimes ministry stinks (quite literally when we're talking about bologna). And I don't mean "THE ministry", like being married to a pastor, although that's a completely different post. I mean serving. Doing things for God's kingdom that need to be done. It's not all rainbows and butterflies and coming home with lots of cute pictures of you with a bunch of homeless kids who fell in love with you. Someone's gotta make the bologna sandwiches in God's kingdom.
And, no, it's not a matter of feeling "called" to do it (which I will blog about further tomorrow). Believe me, there was no feeling of "this is what I was made for" last night.
It was not fun.
But Saturday, there were a lot of people living under bridges in Atlanta who got to eat a yummy sandwich for lunch, and that makes me grateful that God stuck me in that kitchen.
I wonder what kind of things God wants you to make happen but you're waiting on it to "feel" right?? More on that rant tomorrow!!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Pass on the Blessing
Last night, a couple of hours after dinner, my family got the munchies. I intentionally do not keep many/any "munchies-satisfying-food" in the house. I always have the munchies so I would always be eating said food, nullifying all of my P90x-ing. So Jono began to scour the kitchen for something and finally decided to fix himself a peanut butter sandwich. Which only led to him having to fix 2 more peanut butter sandwiches for the bottomless pit girls. As he was finishing up Nevaeh's sandwich she requested that he cut the crust off. He then offered (possibly out of laziness) to cut the sandwich in half and then she could just "eat around the crust". No, Vaeh - shockingly - was not willing to compromise and started to beg/freak out. The whole time I was thinking "Really, Jono? You really think dealing with the tizzy that is about to ensue is going to take up less time and energy than CUTTING OFF THE CRUST?!" So, being the awesome wife that I am, I may have pointed out that he grew up with MEMAW and EVERY TIME she made him a sandwich she cut the crust off. How's that for forgetting to pass on the blessing? And Vaeh clearly got her dislike for crust from him soooo. I was just saying. Well, I guess he thought I had a point because, bless his heart, he served her a crustless sandwich.
Then as we plopped down to watch Criminal Minds, I had a thought/conviction. In the same way that I think it is ridiculous for a man who hates crust and has had it cut off his sandwich all his life to refuse the same service to his daughter, God finds it ridiculous when I --who have been forgiven of the unforgivable, loved when I was unlovable, and "beared with" (I think that would be correctly said "born with" but thought that sounded weird:)) when I was being unbearable by Him who has every right to hold all those things against me--refuse to "pass on the blessing" to others. I know you probably don't deal with that, but sometimes I find it hard to extend the very grace and forgiveness that I thank and praise God for giving to me.
Soo...even though I resisted the pb sandwich raid, I still got hit with a wave of guilt. Holy guilt, nonetheless. I leave you with an awesome quote that I stole from John Hall (The Mark Hall's father!):
"No one has ever done anything to me that's worse than what I have done to God."
and a verse:
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." -Col.3:13
and a subnote:
Jono is an awesome father and this post is in no way meant to sound nagging...I can't help it God saw a teachable moment that involved him:).
Then as we plopped down to watch Criminal Minds, I had a thought/conviction. In the same way that I think it is ridiculous for a man who hates crust and has had it cut off his sandwich all his life to refuse the same service to his daughter, God finds it ridiculous when I --who have been forgiven of the unforgivable, loved when I was unlovable, and "beared with" (I think that would be correctly said "born with" but thought that sounded weird:)) when I was being unbearable by Him who has every right to hold all those things against me--refuse to "pass on the blessing" to others. I know you probably don't deal with that, but sometimes I find it hard to extend the very grace and forgiveness that I thank and praise God for giving to me.
Soo...even though I resisted the pb sandwich raid, I still got hit with a wave of guilt. Holy guilt, nonetheless. I leave you with an awesome quote that I stole from John Hall (The Mark Hall's father!):
"No one has ever done anything to me that's worse than what I have done to God."
and a verse:
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." -Col.3:13
and a subnote:
Jono is an awesome father and this post is in no way meant to sound nagging...I can't help it God saw a teachable moment that involved him:).
Sunday, March 21, 2010
2 Random Thoughts...
This is a quicky, but I just thought of two neat things that I thought I would share.
The first one I learned about today. Well, correction. I'd heard of it before, but today was the first time I got to see it really work. Peroxide really does get blood out of clothes!! When Jono got home from church with all the kiddos (I didn't go because I was up all night with a yucky stomach bug), Pax had blood on his pants. I Googled what would work, saw the peroxide thing, and-wala (I'm not sure if that's really how you spell it, but it's how I pronounce it :))-the blood just bubbled right out. I'm probably the last person on earth to learn this, but if, by chance, you ever doubted...take my word for it!!
The second thing that I wanted to share is actually a gift idea. This book:
is pretty awesome!! It's called "The Story of a Lifetime" by Pamela Pavuk. It's a journal that asks a ton of questions to lead you to pretty much tell the story of your life. It has sections where you tell of your family background and childhood all the way to the golden years and ethnic heritage. We gave one to Memaw and to my grandmother a few years ago. It's so great to be able to read Memaw's thoughts and memories now that she's gone. I also gave Jono one for his 30th birthday. It's a really big book and Memaw didn't come close to finishing it so I thought I'd give him a little more time:)
Anyway, I'm really big on cool gift ideas so I thought I'd pass this one on. If your mom or dad or grandma or grandpa have a birthday coming up, check it out. Click here to see it on Half.com.
The first one I learned about today. Well, correction. I'd heard of it before, but today was the first time I got to see it really work. Peroxide really does get blood out of clothes!! When Jono got home from church with all the kiddos (I didn't go because I was up all night with a yucky stomach bug), Pax had blood on his pants. I Googled what would work, saw the peroxide thing, and-wala (I'm not sure if that's really how you spell it, but it's how I pronounce it :))-the blood just bubbled right out. I'm probably the last person on earth to learn this, but if, by chance, you ever doubted...take my word for it!!
The second thing that I wanted to share is actually a gift idea. This book:
is pretty awesome!! It's called "The Story of a Lifetime" by Pamela Pavuk. It's a journal that asks a ton of questions to lead you to pretty much tell the story of your life. It has sections where you tell of your family background and childhood all the way to the golden years and ethnic heritage. We gave one to Memaw and to my grandmother a few years ago. It's so great to be able to read Memaw's thoughts and memories now that she's gone. I also gave Jono one for his 30th birthday. It's a really big book and Memaw didn't come close to finishing it so I thought I'd give him a little more time:)
Anyway, I'm really big on cool gift ideas so I thought I'd pass this one on. If your mom or dad or grandma or grandpa have a birthday coming up, check it out. Click here to see it on Half.com.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Hiney-I mean Hidden-God
Today I was driving Alana to school and I was taking two kids' of a friend of ours to school as well. Alana and Nevaeh were in the backseat with their 6 year old guy pal sitting between them. I'm not sure how their conversation got there, but I heard Nevaeh forcefully point out that God is invisible. They fully accepted this fact and that God is everywhere. This led to the three of them pointing out all the places that God is. "In front of us", for instance. This was contributed by Alana. They went on to mention "on my head", "on top of the car", and then-all of the sudden- I hear blurted out: "He's even in my hiney!" Now, I know that I don't even have to tell you which child made such an insightful comment, but Vaeh was quite proud of her observation. So here I will give her credit. I did the obligatory "Nevaeh!" and quickly wondered how much my 4 year old was corrupting our company. But, true to form, she wasn't gonna let it go. "Mommy, God IS everywhere, right? That's what you said!" Well, I couldn't think of a verse that excluded certain body parts from God's omnipresence, soooo. I mean, am I the only one who has had the "God-is-everywhere" moment while I'm using the bathroom and thought: "Really?".
Well, all that got me thinking about how, while my children are amazed at the fact that God can be everywhere at once, I often struggle with the "hiddenness" of God. How can He literally be everywhere and yet sometimes I feel like "Where are You?!" For instance, with the whole adoption thing I find myself trusting, trusting, trusting...Ok, please gimme something God! One little shred of direction, guidance, anything. Now, I know that people have had much darker "nights of the soul" than this situation that I'm in. I'm not enduring terrible trials that others may be. But, you know what? Regardless, we are not the first to feel this way. And feeling that way doesn't always mean that we have wandered off from God. Job was considered righteous by God, but when he begged God to help him...nothing. All through the Psalms the "man after God's own heart" voiced his doubts and complaints. So maybe instead of being a sign of weak faith, our wonderings are expected by God. And maybe, in a weird way, God understands. Maybe He went out of His way to understand. After all, God the Son felt God-forsaken on the cross. And if Jesus Christ can scream out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!", then I guess it's ok for me to whisper a little, "Hellooo? God? This is kinda a big deal. Could you appear?" every now and then.
And I'm very sorry if this post makes your next trip to the restroom...awkward:).
Well, all that got me thinking about how, while my children are amazed at the fact that God can be everywhere at once, I often struggle with the "hiddenness" of God. How can He literally be everywhere and yet sometimes I feel like "Where are You?!" For instance, with the whole adoption thing I find myself trusting, trusting, trusting...Ok, please gimme something God! One little shred of direction, guidance, anything. Now, I know that people have had much darker "nights of the soul" than this situation that I'm in. I'm not enduring terrible trials that others may be. But, you know what? Regardless, we are not the first to feel this way. And feeling that way doesn't always mean that we have wandered off from God. Job was considered righteous by God, but when he begged God to help him...nothing. All through the Psalms the "man after God's own heart" voiced his doubts and complaints. So maybe instead of being a sign of weak faith, our wonderings are expected by God. And maybe, in a weird way, God understands. Maybe He went out of His way to understand. After all, God the Son felt God-forsaken on the cross. And if Jesus Christ can scream out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!", then I guess it's ok for me to whisper a little, "Hellooo? God? This is kinda a big deal. Could you appear?" every now and then.
And I'm very sorry if this post makes your next trip to the restroom...awkward:).
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Baking, Birthweek, Battlestar Galactica
Last Saturday I added to my appliance family. Ever since we got married (8 1/2 years ago) I have wanted one of these:
Of course, not many people spend that kind of money on a wedding gift, so we didn't get it. Then every year for my birthday or Christmas or Mother's Day it would cross my mind, but I always chickened out on asking for it because they are so darn expensive! We're talking close to $400!! That's crazy. So, life went on with little to no baking. And when I did bake, I would use a $15 hand mixer from Wal-Mart until it blew up and then I'd buy another one. Well, last weekend I cracked. I was at Kohl's searching for a non-chrome breadbox (which, by the way, doesn't exist) when I came across the deal of a lifetime. The lovely KitchenAid Artisan stand mixers were marked down from $365 to $299. I had a 30% off coupon, and there is a manufacturer's rebate for $30. So I paid around $190 for it plus I got $40 in Kohl's cash to go towards the new bath towels I need. That right there is exciting! And not a moment too soon for Jono's birth week. The first thing I made were some yummy peanut butter cream sandwich cookies and I became a believer. It was so fun just leaving that thing running and dumping all of the ingredients in as I found them. My philosophy now is that baking just isn't worth it without this beauty. By the way, those cookies were amazing...here's the recipe.
Now let's refer back to "birth week". Yes, we Long's celebrate the whole week of our birth. We adopted this glorious idea from a very sweet family at our church who actually celebrate "birth month". Now I was all game for birth month, but that was definitely too extreme for Jono. So birth week it is. His started Sunday, and every day until the 13th he gets to pop a balloon, find the clue in it, and have a little surprise. Sunday he got a Home Depot shopping trip. Actually more of a window shopping trip, but it was fun. Monday we ate Japanese and went to the mall with our friends Angie, Allison, and Nathan. Tuesday we had a date night to the movies (which is really a treat to us because I cringe at the idea of paying $20 for it). Wednesday he got some birthday notes and pictures from his dear students, and today I surprised him with a trip to the State Capitol. That was a home run. I have officially raised the bar for birth week. He got a tour of the building, he got to meet Governor Sonny Purdue, and we got a family picture with the governor that will be signed and mailed to us. And here's a shout out to my sister-in-law whose dad is Representative Len Walker who made all this possible. Sooooo, two more days to the big 3-0. What else could I possibly have up my sleeve???
Oh, December 13th better be the beginning of a pure week of bliss for me...
P.s. There is obviously no reference to Battlestar Galactica in this post. That was just a little something for all you Office fans!
Of course, not many people spend that kind of money on a wedding gift, so we didn't get it. Then every year for my birthday or Christmas or Mother's Day it would cross my mind, but I always chickened out on asking for it because they are so darn expensive! We're talking close to $400!! That's crazy. So, life went on with little to no baking. And when I did bake, I would use a $15 hand mixer from Wal-Mart until it blew up and then I'd buy another one. Well, last weekend I cracked. I was at Kohl's searching for a non-chrome breadbox (which, by the way, doesn't exist) when I came across the deal of a lifetime. The lovely KitchenAid Artisan stand mixers were marked down from $365 to $299. I had a 30% off coupon, and there is a manufacturer's rebate for $30. So I paid around $190 for it plus I got $40 in Kohl's cash to go towards the new bath towels I need. That right there is exciting! And not a moment too soon for Jono's birth week. The first thing I made were some yummy peanut butter cream sandwich cookies and I became a believer. It was so fun just leaving that thing running and dumping all of the ingredients in as I found them. My philosophy now is that baking just isn't worth it without this beauty. By the way, those cookies were amazing...here's the recipe.
Now let's refer back to "birth week". Yes, we Long's celebrate the whole week of our birth. We adopted this glorious idea from a very sweet family at our church who actually celebrate "birth month". Now I was all game for birth month, but that was definitely too extreme for Jono. So birth week it is. His started Sunday, and every day until the 13th he gets to pop a balloon, find the clue in it, and have a little surprise. Sunday he got a Home Depot shopping trip. Actually more of a window shopping trip, but it was fun. Monday we ate Japanese and went to the mall with our friends Angie, Allison, and Nathan. Tuesday we had a date night to the movies (which is really a treat to us because I cringe at the idea of paying $20 for it). Wednesday he got some birthday notes and pictures from his dear students, and today I surprised him with a trip to the State Capitol. That was a home run. I have officially raised the bar for birth week. He got a tour of the building, he got to meet Governor Sonny Purdue, and we got a family picture with the governor that will be signed and mailed to us. And here's a shout out to my sister-in-law whose dad is Representative Len Walker who made all this possible. Sooooo, two more days to the big 3-0. What else could I possibly have up my sleeve???
Oh, December 13th better be the beginning of a pure week of bliss for me...
P.s. There is obviously no reference to Battlestar Galactica in this post. That was just a little something for all you Office fans!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Bothering God...
Jonathan and I received a call from our home study agent a few weeks ago and she had some bad news. The lady who has been trying to make our adoption possible on the Ukraine end went before the SDA with a letter from a judge recommending us as adoptive parents for Oksana and Vitya. She says she was 80% sure that she was leaving with an "okay", but instead she was told that "the law is the law" and that Jono and I will under no circumstances receive a referral to adopt our sweet kids. It's taken a while to process because this unfortunate news came right on the heels of Memaw's death...which officially made the month of February the absolute WORST in both of our lives. We have really felt all along that this was something that God was leading us to do and that the obstacles were just there to bring more glory to Him in the end. And that is definitely still possible. However we are being told by all involved that this is a brick wall. There are no more options.
Every day at noon I, along with my 2 girls, pray for Oksana and Vitya. Daily, God hears: "God, please let Oksana and Vitya come be a part of our family." I am so ok with being like the persistent widow that Luke talks about in chapter 18 who wore the judge out by asking for justice over and over again. Eventually even that unjust judge gave in. Jesus said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?"
I want to have faith in a known, seen outcome. But I know that that is not faith at all. So, in the words of Mother Theresa "I'll pray for trust...not clarity." There has never been a time in my life that has felt so "hands off" to me. Everything has always been fixable. There's always been someone I could call or something I could do...and now there's not. I have to find peace in knowing that God has the power to do what He wants and that He ultimately wants what will most glorify Him. I definitely don't doubt that. I just wonder, as C.S. Lewis did when his wife had cancer, how painful Him glorifying Himself will be to us.
And in the meantime, I'm gonna bother God like crazy.
Every day at noon I, along with my 2 girls, pray for Oksana and Vitya. Daily, God hears: "God, please let Oksana and Vitya come be a part of our family." I am so ok with being like the persistent widow that Luke talks about in chapter 18 who wore the judge out by asking for justice over and over again. Eventually even that unjust judge gave in. Jesus said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?"
I want to have faith in a known, seen outcome. But I know that that is not faith at all. So, in the words of Mother Theresa "I'll pray for trust...not clarity." There has never been a time in my life that has felt so "hands off" to me. Everything has always been fixable. There's always been someone I could call or something I could do...and now there's not. I have to find peace in knowing that God has the power to do what He wants and that He ultimately wants what will most glorify Him. I definitely don't doubt that. I just wonder, as C.S. Lewis did when his wife had cancer, how painful Him glorifying Himself will be to us.
And in the meantime, I'm gonna bother God like crazy.
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